Learning to live a little

A.k.a. the Lonewolf a title that's been self-appointed. Plenty of people my age are out drinking and partying I'm at home. My social life is next to none. At times I feel like I'm missing out , but I figure if I'm in doors then that leaves less of an opportunity for me to get into any trouble. I feel safe in my domain I stay in my own shell a hermit in my own right . I think this is from me having a sheltered life as a child. I wasn't left to roam the streets usually indoors way before the streetlights came on to avoid any stray bullets on the fourth floor of an apartment complex with three locks on a metal door and a chain. This along with my shy wallflower attitude leaves me to be out of place in social settings. Seems like anytime I would try to go outside of my comfort zone then I later came to regret it. The club lounge and bar scene was never really my cup of tea. I've never been the type that seeks attention by buying overpriced liquor in an attempt to mingle with members of the opposite sex. . My schedule hasn't been very kind to me as far as having much free time is involved. Now things are slightly improved but I really haven't jumped on the opportunity of having more availability. I want to but I'm so focused on the task at hand that I feel like I can't take any time off. Getting a solid eight hours of sleep keeping my diet clean sticking & to my exercise regimen are A few of the things that I prioritize in the present. I see it as a good & bad thing good thing in the sense that I'm focused on what it is that I'm doing but a bad thing in the sense that I feel like a prisoner in my own life. I really have become a bit of a slave to a routine. I really feel like over the winter I get into hibernation mode I don't  do the cold so it's yet another reason to stay inside my nice warm cozy cave. Sometimes I feel like I'm allergic to social interactions being around a large group of people kind of drains me I don't feel like myself at all. Maybe this is something that I 'll grow out of. Only time will tell. Once it warms up and I'm content with where I'm at then I really am going to make a solid effort to get out more and be a little bit more social I am a firm believer in life being about making connections but at the same time if you're indoors all the time who are you going to connect with other than yourself. I try my best to self evaluate  and to point out my own imperfections I know how to be honest with myself. At this point I really do feel like an old miser and I need to grow out of this mentality sooner or later if not then I might as well buy a rocking chair and retire early. Ive got a lot of life to live so I'm going to do my best start trying to live it.